he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
