When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So. Much. Porn.
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