Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize