So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
