break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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