he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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