he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
