Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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