think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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