So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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