Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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