Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
