im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize