Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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