Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
