i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If I die, sorry about rent.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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