living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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