Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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