yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
