I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize