If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just cropdusted the office
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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