Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yo dont text me then not text me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
