I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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