i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
