after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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