i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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