I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
