We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
