Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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