Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
