She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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