If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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