im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
