how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
