The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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