And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
