I bet he comes in French.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
