So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize