guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
