My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
