i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
