I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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