Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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