ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
