No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
