her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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