I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Houston, we have a blender
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
