There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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