Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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