last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
