How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
