At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
