if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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