i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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