apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
