For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
