DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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