Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
