ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
