Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you win again, gameday.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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