I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
