My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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