Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
