I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
