I'm drive I can fine osifer
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
